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Tuesday
Apr072015

I Never Decided To Leave 

6 of 30

 

I never decided to leave

Because when I did all the reasons

came flooding back

in vignettes and moments

memories and snapshots

Failure felt the like the pressure of

concrete brick-bound books a weight upon the chest

 

the shower was the last shower I would ever take in our home

which was now no longer a home

and the I love yous spattered in puddles

pooling at my toes

I saw every smile and laugh in the showerhead tears that slid down sides of tile

and I came sobbing from the bathroom

 

your arms were there and they felt right

no difference how wrong they were

the embrace was our last

and then maybe it wasn’t

and we both wanted it not to be

 

in moments of loss

don’t forget to remember

the empty bed, the hollowness

the thoughtless, careless words you said

that made I love yous false

 

So I never decided to leave

I decided not to stay

 

- C.R. Cohen

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